LeaderShape 09

LIFE CHANGING

i just downloaded so much music

Ong Bak- Mui Tai Warrior (TING)

Energy drink and Male enhancement Ads

Jittery

George Lopez and Tears

Second Stage

Water, Farts, y Sonrisas

i forgot to write last night that Berns fell off the tree when we were climbing it. ahahah

Hell ya man, he did not give a fuck.

Today went to the playground and chillleeedddd

i am having fuckin MAD fun right now

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I wore my hair in a ponytail today, it was badass.

Tus desprecios son (tus desprecios son)
lo que a mi corazon estan matando
Y tus desaires son como punales
que me estas clavando
Y ya no se que hacer (y ya no se que hacer)
pa recobrar tu amor, y
que me quieras de nuevo
Dia tras dia, poco a poco,
nuestro amor, por tus desprecios,
se esta acabando
Porque te digo aqui, y me dices que alla Y si yo digo si, me dices que jamas
Y si quiero salir, tu te quieres quedar
No se por que razon, tu no me quieres ya
Te digo que te amo, y ya no contestas
Te ofrezco besos, y me sacas vueltas
No te imaginas cuanto me duele
quererte tanto, y tu ya no me quieres

"I used to...now I know"

Damn Yesterday I was running to class and I ate it man, my jeans tore and I was gushing blood, it was all good but once I got to class there was a girl talking about Hurricane Katrina and placing all blame of the citizens of New Orleans, my adrenaline was pumping from that fall and I couldn't help but tell this girl the facts.

Fact: Most people there were people of color

Fact: Majority were of the low-income bracket

Fact: Mobility was difficult due to economic situations and social restrictions

Also, I went to the LAKER GAME, of course they dominated!

As for hanging out with Carlos after, I wasn't quite sure how I felt about him but now I know. I think in this particular situation I was too nice and understanding, WHAT? ahah me? Right?!ahah, yup.

YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN

I'm sure I have become a better person from this.

today

I'm feeling good.
James Brown Good.

I've been a vegetarian for 9 days now, hell ya! I also stopped smoking mariJUANA. Well, until May. I cannot watch my studies continue to be affected by me smoking the night before or being too tired to attend class. Fuck that dude, Imma be that STUDENT i registered to be.

OKAY?!?! ahah

LAKER GAME TONIGHT!!!

Also, I got a second hole piercings hell ya!

I used to walk around school with something EXACLT like this.

Except mine wasn't so cute, without a bow and pokadots.

BELIEVE THAT

Late Post

I've definitely been meaning to post up a blog up lately, sadly I haven't gotten around to it. But, I have prevailed and am seemingly not paying attention at this meeting, I think others are taking notice. Regardless, that which includes me doing anything remotely productive, has led me here, now, "finally" as the ROCK says it, getting at this blogspot. Ya man, yup. This past week was pretty awesome, I was up and happy, chillin, now I feel kind of like FML, for those who know what's up, aja aj aj. But, Imma be alright. Chicago was great, I learned some information that I would consider being helpful.

I went to this loft party techno stuff that was in a warehouse looking place, it was pretty cool, I got pretty fucked up, which was needed/necessary.

But, back to my awesome week. I danced a lot, thought even more, laid in the grass, read, smiled, danced, I'm pretty sure I wrote that already, really the definition of HAPPY.

I think princess and I have stopped talking, like infinitely, definitely, which in all honesty kind of sucks. I was changing too much, I couldn't be happy with myself under all that jealosy and distraction, not that it was bad by deeming it a "distraction" but, definitely something that I thought wasn't worth me thinking it up. Like I was too in to it. Maybe that's where I fucked up. But anyway, it was super awesome meeting a new person, a cool Awesome person, even if it was for however long, I had a blast, and was HAPPY as hell when we did chill.

Ajaja, at the party, some white dudes came talking to me. One seemed really creepy like he was fine, but seemed like a myspace message sender dude, he was a cancer anyway. The other dude, Dave, was an aquarius, he was real cool, hell ya, I think we're going back to Chicago soon.

Also, I have been a vegetarian for almost 6 days now. Which coming from a person who gives in after a couple hours, is a big fucking deal. Hell ya man, I love it, like I feel like I'm controlling myself.

Ruthy just told us the definition of Hostile ( unfriendly, antogonist) it was pretty deep. That sucks. Boner Kill! aajaj, ajaj.

March 8th, eh?

this is a bit late,
March 8th.

i did it.

Aja, this post may be like.. "LAME!" or "LERD!" aaha, but since this is like a diary, Imma say what's up.

I mean, I've only done it once back in October but that shit was wack and a bad decision on my part.

Ahah, despite prior difficulties, it went down; and I'll remember it for sure. I remember fucking everything dude.

FML

I'm trying to stay in a "happy place". I'm about 30% there, I'm definitely one to take in a myriad of factors pertaining to my recent life dilemnas. Errghhhhh ajja.

People keep giving me shit, calling me naive and stupid.

I KNOW I'm fucking happy, atleast for now I am. If I don't keep thinking up stupid outcomes or try to make something of this. I guess I am fine with it being whatever, I suppose that I have come to the sad realization that I would rather be naive and stupid than not in this situation at all

I fucked up with the Leo shit though. I should have never started talking to him, I guess I was trying to be nice, aja, I wasn't really feeling it though. Shoulda stopped that shit.

FUck, Paradise is in MY MIND right?!!?

ErrgghH!HH!H!H!!H!H

i wonder if men are really just in it to do it.
i have no clue, and I will probably never really know.
I'm almost at a place where I wouldn't mind an open relationship, one with minimal interaction taking up my time. But I am too damn sensitive and too damn much of a jealous mujer. I don't know why, it's fine for people to like more than one person at a time. I guess its just the complete commitment and devotion aspect that I hope for. But why do I need to find self-actualization in another soul, and not on my own.

I'll let you know what place I come to realize.

Party last night.
Very interesting things happened.

I am still a lady.

c/s dLush

circa 2008

truly phenominal
proportions astronomical
leading the people to a land of resistance
ensured by their self-determination and confidence
representing their ancestors in every single way
praying thanks to their sun god and the shine of his rays


Introduce yourself in the hypest form,showing your still waters got the scariest storms,try your hardest not to conform, and try to resist the control of the institution that tries to insist, your poverty, set yourself free both in mind and physically. Because collectively we will rise, our grand power shall suffice, not in consumers or merchandise, but with this passion and belly hunger we hold for the truth of our people and ancestors to be told.

this dude is actually pretty coooooool. ahah except he likes the pistons and he's all into business,

ajaj, this would be the second virgo ajaj, eff that

Really long time..

When I was younger I would take showers at night, put on an oversized t-shirt, and that would be that. Off to bed I would go, comfortable, breeze prone. As I do this now, it seems almost surreal. I couldn't tell you the last time I did this. Now, it's not what youre thinking I DO shower, but it's usually before class, or I get ready right afterward. WHY? Why must I "get ready" and look nice, and spend an hour on my hair and shit? Fuck that, wouldn't my time go better studying, or even better sleeping, and how about the ever-popular feeding the hungry? Why do I continue to put myself through the torture of getting ready each day? Oh yea, because I'm lame. In everyway that word is used. One day, I won't be. I'll walk and talk without a bra, witough makeup, without fear of humility and lack confidence. That day will come folks, don't panic.

c/s dLush

MAY 1st 2008

Dia Internacional de los Trabajadores

Come Climb the Mayan Pyramid

c/s dLush

We had a CRU event the other day. CRU being Culturas de las Razas Unidas. To let you in on some history, CRU hasn't, as of late and recent time, been fun to members, lack of interest was a familiar criticism, as well as this form of hierarchy e-board tried to demonstrate. Well, I am definitely not one for hierarchy, and I believe that once the e-board had their retreat, WE created this bond that, honestly, I felt was tabboo, and non-existent. Thankfully I was incorrect.It was a family feud-esk game that challenged members on their indigenous knowledge. Like always, people got a bit headstrong, but a majority of the meeting had great vibes and chemistry. It had a grand flow to it. There were new members, old members, required members aahah. There was this real cute guy I met, whose name I shall not disclose, for obvious purposes. Also, I met a lot of great students in general. The planning and organization came easier to us, leaving the smaller tasks to interestingly enough, become a bit more difficult. All was well, for we, I feel, had a successful CRU event, one of many I hope and foresee :)

I went to the Stater Brothers that my MOM works at one day during Winter Break. I went with Papi, Maritza, Jessica, y Danielle. I still remember what we got:

1. Mashed Potatoes
2. Barbeque Sauce
3. Cookies
4. Hawaiian Bread

I believe that is it. I had a lot of fun that day. I am a tremendous amount lot closer and appreciative of mi familia than I ever was. I've learned and experienced from my costly errors. I cannot stand to upset or under appreciate my family, for they have made me who I am.

Without them, my life would prove no feat, no love, no soul.

I LOVE YALL!!
THE GREATEST STRENGTH I EVER KNEW/WILL KNOW

Damn Beautiful

Tiempo Enamorada

Ruthy and I went to the TIEMPO LIBRE concert at the Wharton Center last night as part of this amazing program the Office of Inclusion has begun (Cultural Exchange). They are a latin-jazz group. But above all THEY WERE FINE! The lead singer and trumpet player (jizzed in my pants) had that most marvelous hip thrusting moves I have ever seen. After a mix up, and accidentally leaving the Hall, we returned and ran to the stage to dance! It was DOPE! Ruthy and I were kickin ass on that dance floor, busting out some moves I didn't know either of us even had. After dancing our legs and arses off, we got our program signed by the band, yada yada yada. THE best part was when the trumpet papi kept peering our way, saying "take a picture with me" with his eyes. So we took pictures with him and he kissed us, and it was just overal, a magical moment. He had the biggest hands. But getcha mind right, I ain't no groupie.
Hahah, I just looked on the Tiempo Libre website and this trumpet player is no where to be found in the band pictures. Was it a dreaM?

I like to express myself in various forms.

MAYATE

This may seem like a bug that's cousin to the beetle, or you may not have ever seen this beauty before. To me, this "mayate" represents my childhood. I look back on the few times me and my Papi Lencho spoke or interacted and remember his crazy personality. Papi Lencho would tie a piece of thread to the mayate's back legs and give it to us kids to fly like a kite. It sounds kind of sad actually, but it was like holding a balloon at Disneyland to me. I don't see them anymore, I doubt they like the snow.

There are exactly 2 songs that no matter the time, place, or person you better guaran-damn-tee that I will be dancing to it. These beats enter through my midget pigmy toe and shake their way out my brown bootay.

Biggie's "Hypnotize" and Dr.Dre's "The Next Episode"

A Mean Bean Checkers Machine

In the second grade, 

I was referred to as 

the "Checkers Queen"

I can't remember if everyone called me that, or just me and my friends.

I beat everyone I played.

Except the King of course.

Interesting.

Check Mate.

This weekend I saw Dirty Dancing for the first time. I always wondered what the fuss was about. I don't get it. NOT! That masterpiece filled my being with love, happiness, and will..as well as leaving my chonis filled with something else. Baby seemed really young, 13 years old young, and Patrick Swazy was not fine at all. The script kept me going. The dirty dancing didn't hurt either! Baby's sister was a loser. She reminded me of me kind of. I mean, there were these times where she wasn't doing 'her'. Girl, come on. But the scene that really got me was when Johnny Castle's partner got a 'dirty abortion' I wanted to cry. I was thinking a great amount of awful actions characterized as 'dirty'. My mind's really weird, sadistic. I was actually relieved when the viewer learned it just meant that it wasn't done by a real doctor. Woooh. That was a close one I guess. 

joy, frustrations, expressions, mercy

silence, rage, courage, resistance

If I cannot be free, my speech will be.

BEST ALBUM EVER, PERIOD.

I thought once I learned about consumerism and its ruthless unchanging role of getting you to purchase something, solely for 'esteem' boosting purposes, I'd stop giving in to it. I was happy with myself, new shoes or not. Well, I went to the mall and got me some new sneakers. They're fly.

When will I be free?

I'm not the dinner and a movie type of girl

Imma classy bitch

...put a napkin on my lap

so that I don't receive the clap

look for my clit on my anatomy map

and run into my overstuffed jockstrap

of happiness.

On TV there's always a scene where a particular love interest falls asleep and their soon to be mate watches them sleep, thinking it's the most fantastic shit on earth. Well, Abel is drooling, farting, snorting, and sweating.  I cannot seem to contain myself, I am in love. Either that or I am disgusted, same difference.

You can't help but wonder what they're dreaming about. They seem so intensely focused, connected.  I think it is as if their subconscious is having a rave. With dirty music and even dirtier people.  Oh the joy of mental solitude.

BRAND IS YOU

c/s dLush

In my advertising class ADV 220, we're learning about BRANDING and what makes a brand stick out and get recognized!!! Our task was to put together a collage, prepared by paint, draw, or technology, that represented us, "YOU", and our 'brand'. I call it, " dreading_delushes (trademark)"ahahah hahah

Well, I couldn't tell you where to begin, it's hard shit, obviously, but its always good to try.

The Photoshopped collage pictured took me about 12 hours to do, I think. I am a bit frazzled right now, sleep deprivation. Maybe it took me 12 minutes. Who knows.

I sincerely hope I was a rhinosauraus in a past life.